


Stationary Orbit

by ViridianPanther



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Character Study, Falling In Love, Friendship, M/M, One Shot, Reconciliation, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-03
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-11-06 18:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/421834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViridianPanther/pseuds/ViridianPanther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alenko and Shepard have been circling each other for three years, but neither of them is consciously aware of it. Joker's seen it all the way through, and realises that a little push is probably in order. One-shot set during ME3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stationary Orbit

**Author's Note:**

> This was intended as a sort of character study for Joker, in preparation for another upcoming post-ending story. The last five hundred words or so just followed naturally. Enjoy!

"Kaidan?"

I turn my head, and then swivel around in my chair to face the little head poking around the doorway.

"Joker?"

"I'm drunk."

"Yeah. I guessed," I say, rising and shaking the oncoming migraine from my consciousness. "Where's your shirt?"

"James won it."

"Ah." Vega has earned a reputation for being ruthless at poker, a ruthlessness that belied his comparative naiveté on the battlefield. "Would you like me to fetch you another one?"

"Thanks." I fetch a crumpled uniform shirt from Joker's drawer, and he pulls it over his scrawny figure with trembling fingers, fumbling in the dim light of eleven p.m. by the ship's clock.

"Are you going to be OK?"

"Fine," he mumbles. "Thanks."

"Go to the bridge, I'll bring you a coffee. You need to sober up."

"Thank you." I head to the port observation lounge and draw a plastic cup of coffee from the machine, careful to only fill it to the two-thirds level. Anything more and Joker would spill it down his front.

He takes it and sips it gingerly when I take it to him, slouched in the helm position on the bridge. EDI's drone is recharging in the secondman's seat, and I catch Joker ogling it in the corner of his eye.

"You can't seriously be attracted to that thing," I whisper.

"I am." Joker scowls at me. "What's not to like? She's a sexy robot lady _and_ she's the _Normandy._ "

"I am still here, Jeff," EDI chimes over the intercom. "Just because the drone is---"

"I know, _shit,_ sorry," Jeff interrupts, slurring loudly.

"You can't blame me for having reservations," I say. "That body's previous occupant nearly killed me."

"Yeah, yeah." Joker sits himself upright in the pilot's seat and activates the control console. "She tolerates me, though. And be honest, who else am I going to get?"

"Tell me about it."

"It's alright for you," Joker says, bringing up the status board with his little finger. "You've got Shepard."

" _Shepard?_ " The sound of his name makes my breath tingle a little, but I keep a straight face. "Sorry. In what way have I _got_ Shepard?"

"Don't act like you don't know." Joker taps at a red tile and examines it. "Number two women's showerhead is blocked, we should probably send someone down there with a toothbrush."

"I don't know," I say, truthfully. Shepard's my friend, but…

"For god's sakes," Joker says, turning in his chair to look me straight in the eye and raising his voice. "You've been circling each other for three years, don't tell me you don't know about it."

" _Circling?_ Joker, if you think there's something going on---"

"I don't think. I _know._ " Joker dismisses the warning about the showerhead without even looking back at the panel. "I'm not an idiot. We all saw the way you went doe-eyed on the old ship whenever he walked in the room. Pressly was taking bets on which one of you would be---"

" _Shut up,_ Joker," I snap, pressure building in my head and heat rising in my cheeks. "I need to get some sleep. G'night," I say, turning about on my heel and striding aft.

"I'm serious," he calls. "Think about it. It _has_ to be you two."

I stop, mid-footstep. Jeff isn't joking: he _is_ deadly serious. I think about it for a few seconds. Shepard _is_ a handsome man: I've known that since I first laid eyes upon him, and frankly, anyone who doesn't see that is plain blind. But I've never—oh, who am I kidding? I have.

Everyone has little fantasies, little fairy stories they invent inside their heads. And mine always seem to converge on Commander Shepard.

"You're right," I say, standing beside Joker's position again and gazing forward at the starfield. "I suppose I do… have feelings for him. Had them for a long time, but… I don't…"

"You don't what?"

"I don't want to risk our friendship on a childish crush. It's…"

" _Three years!_ " Joker reminds me. "Three goddamn years. I think this is past a childish crush, don't you?"

"Yeah," I confess, in little more than a whisper. "Probably, it… probably is."

"So? Are you going to do something about it?"

I pause for a moment, trying to come up with a coherent argument in my head before spitting it out. "I'm not sure. Still. I'd like it, but…"

"You're worried Shepard doesn't feel the same way," Jeff interrupts, expressing it more brusquely than I would, but without a cloud of euphemisms.

"Yeah."

"And?" He's smiling, and it's a 'clever' smile.

"You think he does. You _know_ he does, or you wouldn't have suggested this in the first place."

" _Finally!_ " he cries. "Think about it, Kaidan."

"I'd rather he made the first move," I whispered. "Why are you telling me?"

"Because I'm not sure Shepard realises it himself," Joker says, returning to the ship's status board and logging the faulty showerhead. "That's the sort of person he is. Too wrapped up in saving the galaxy to realise he's falling in love with someone under his nose."

_Love._ That's a strong word, and not one that I use lightly. Joker seems convinced, though.

"Well, this has been… interesting," I say, standing up straight. "Thanks for that, Joker. I'll think about it. Carefully."

"You're welcome, Kaidan. Any time."

I smile, although my stomach is still tied into a knot from that conversation. I turn to head back to the crew deck, and a hard mattress for the evening.

"One more thing, Kaidan!" Joker says, suddenly, and I let out a sigh of frustration.

"What is it now?"

"Since we're not keeping secrets any more, I want to say sorry."

Sorry. "Sorry for what?"

"I wasn't exactly over what happened on Horizon when you came aboard again. And I told Shepard about that, and he shot me down and told me to lay off you. That was what convinced me."

"Convinced you?"

"That he…"

"Ah."

"Look, all I'm saying, Kaidan," Joker admits, "is I was wrong about you, and I'd like to put this behind us."

Forgiveness. Is this how Joker asks for forgiveness? "Of course. Friends?"

"Friends."

We shake hands and smile, and I wish him a good night. The right side of my head feels sore as I pace gently back to the elevator. A chime of my omni-tool informs me it's midnight as I quietly strip and clamber into my bunk.

"Alenko!" comes a groggy voice from the bunk below me.

"Yes, Adams?"

"Your computer's still on the table."

I curse and get up again to collect the tablet, doing a final check of my mails. Nothing of importance, just one item of personal-injury spam.

_Three years._

In the morning, I decide, I'll speak to him. Mail him. Invite him to lunch or something— _anything_. Joker's convinced me that it's worth a shot, at least.

For now, though, I stow the computer in my locker, climb back up to the top bunk and fantasise about Shepard holding me to get through this headache.

* * *

### Two weeks later

Lying in bed with another migraine, even fiercer than the last one, isn't how I'd imagined our third date going. But it'll do.

At least Shepard's mattress is softer than my own in the quarters downstairs. The lights are dimmed, and I can just spread out and concentrate on the next breath.

Shepard's behind the glass partition, his face and hair still damp from the shower as he finishes off some code at his terminal. He's keeping me in the corner of his eye: I can't tell if he's checking me out, or worried I'll suddenly start throwing up. Probably both, but I just want this migraine to be over with.

I smile gratefully as he puts the terminal to sleep, and dims the lights further. "There. That'll take a few hours to compile. I'm all yours now," he whispers, standing.

"Sorry, Shepard. Not a great way to be spending our third date."

"Third date? I didn't realise you were counting." I can hear his smile in his voice as he silently clambers into the bed next to me, and that makes me smile too.

"Are you flirting with me?"

"Do you have to ask?" I let out a little gasp of breath as I feel Shepard pull close behind me, placing a calloused hand on my forehead and raking his fingers through my hair. I'm too tired, too woozy to even be considering sex, but all the same, his presence, his touch is powerfully erotic and better than anything I'd even dared to dream about.

"I'm so glad you're here," I whisper, leaning back into his touch.

"So am I, Kaidan," Shepard whispers, drawing his nose against my face and, after a tiny pause of uncertainty, kissing me on the cheek for the first time. I don't even notice it at first: that's how natural, how _right_ this feels.

"That's nice," I breathe, and Shepard nods, resting his cheek against mine and clasping my right hand. "Thank you."

I roll my head sideways to gently kiss him on the lips, inhaling the odd metallic scent that always seems to follow him around as he lets out a little purr of pleasure. I can see through the viewport from here: the twinkling of the stars and the aurora of the drive core casts a soft, pale light over Shepard's features.

I definitely regret not realising this sooner, not acting on my instincts, needing Joker to push me into confessing my feelings. But for now, I forget the tremendous burden on our shoulders, the probability of the world ending in a few weeks, and all the things that might have been if things had been different. I forget the migraine throbbing in my cranium, and the wooziness of the painkillers.

For now, we're not Spectres, not freaks with malfunctioning robotic implants, not even soldiers. We're Kaidan Alenko and John Shepard (even though he hates it when people use his first name.)

For this one moment, half-naked and bathed in the half-light of the fish tank and the stars, we feel like the two happiest men in the universe.

**Author's Note:**

> I was quite annoyed at how Joker got shafted in ME3: as far as I'm concerned, he was the most interesting character in 2, partly because of the dynamic between him and EDI, and partly because of his unwavering loyalty to Shepard. If you like, you can consider this a way of rectifying that: I like the idea of him being socially inept, but a superb observer of people.
> 
> (Plus, if anyone noticed the way Shepard and Kaidan were circling each other for years beforehand, of course it will have been him.)


End file.
